Stagnation

I'm in a bog. It's my day off, a day I declared sacred to self-interest so I could finally heal my right forefinger slashed by broken glass in dishwater a week ago. It is amazing how a deep cut crossing a knuckle will refuse to stay closed even when securely wrapped and coddled. I am sure by now that I should have had it stitched but the doctor is miles and miles away and the clinic was closed at the time of the wash-up, so there we have it. It's not bleeding any more, but my career as a hand model is ended!

Whenever I take a day to myself like this it usually ends up wasted. Not only does my workaholic husband shoot me poison looks, but, sad to say, I feel like I get fatter and less capable by the minute.  Yet the finger demands some attention. It may be small, and an inconsequential injury for a field laborer, but I write and draw, my work is fine and detailed, and I can't go on like this! 

Am waiting for new calendar pages so can't work on that project, but did spend enough time reading gardening books to understand what I'm up against. We live in the high chaparral and my landscaping choices are limited. Yet it's exciting to think about the changes I might be able to make in our yard over the next 6 months. I have lots of plans and think I'll do a before and after photo series to keep me accountable. 

But right now the blasted terrible heat of late summer is upon us. It's in the 90s - enervating heat that forces me indoors to huddle around the swamp cooler. I did ride my spinner bike for 15 minutes this morning, which, though not precisely an achievement, still represents getting 'back on track.' The weight loss plan I started in April, which had worked so very well up until mid-August when Mom arrived and we went on vacation, only required a 15 minute spin every morning plus a detailed eating plan for every week, covering my brunches, snacks and dinners.

It feels good to move back in that direction.

Regarding the potential for full time work, I drew the following Tarot cards from the Rider/Waite deck:  Page of Wands between Ace of Swords and Five Swords. The Page, who represents a messenger, is facing the Five of Swords which generally represents defeat. The Page's back is to the Ace, which represents oaths or commitments. I have chosen to interpret this as a message that the potential I so dreaded is not going to come to pass after all, and that the time of oath or commitment has passed.

It's the only time I've ever been happy to see the Five of Swords in a reading, and I don't fully trust that it could bring me good news. The next few weeks will tell.